so tonight that i might see

The other night we started a Velvet Underground collage. There is something pretty fantastic about cutting out pictures, concentrating, creating something.



Today I packed my collection of cameras. And thought, I feel like I just did this. And I guess I did.



I had a flashback today. Of when we first met. The first time I noticed that his hands often shook when he was around me. That after a while, the shaking stopped.

Today, things starting feeling better. With the windows open and loud music filling the apartment, I felt the best I have in a while. I also have the next nine days off of work, which couldn't feel better. It takes so much, to get to this point. But I look back at the past feel months and I feel good about how hard I worked, how I dedicated myself fully.

A plant that I have had for several years is slowly wilting in parts. When I walk by and glance at it, I feel sad. And keep telling myself it might need more sun, or maybe more water, maybe less. Why is the plant changing now, when I haven't been doing anything differently.

I am becoming obsessed with finding a library close to our new place. Haven't been to one in months. I really need to walk out of one with the tallest stack of books in my arms. Even if I only glance at them. Some real comfort in this thought.

Tomorrow is our last nite at our place. It feels strange, but not super sad. This place has never really felt very cozy. Maybe because we have barely been here. And it takes time to get used to new things. I find myself reminding myself of this all the time.

The book I am reading has endnotes. I love flipping the pages to the back of the book to read the references. So nerdy!

And! This song is so awesome.